Structure 1: The Stobie Pole

Structure 1: The Stobie Pole


“It consists of two flangled beams of iron or steel, preferably rolled steel joist of 'H' or of channel sections, placed one beside the other with their flanges inward and preferably at a slight angle one with the other and held together with means of tie bolts, the space between them being filled with cement concrete.” - James Stobie, describing the Stobie pole, 1924

Nationality: (South) Australian
Year of Production: 1924-current
Number built: Unknown, but many.
Weight: 8.5 tons for 12 metre pole. Other sizes vary.
Length: Unknown
Width: Unknown
Height: 6 to 26 metres, reportedly able to be built to 36 metres.

Background: Yes. I know where a few of these are. No, I am not into measuring power poles. Length and width will remain unknown unless ETSA or the like is interested enough to tell me.

Anyway, back in the days of 1924 of South Australia, there was a shortage of termite resistant wood, which is a bad thing for a wooden power pole that may get munched on by, well, termites.

Now, not being munched on by termites is a good thing, but having a pole that can't really be knocked over by a car or be set on fire is better, since it avoids the fuss of cutting off power, putting pole back in, internet users mocking car driver for being an idiot that cut off their power so they couldn't play Planet of Peacebuild or whatever, even though it hadn't been invented yet.

A man called James Stobie decided to get around that problem by using the most common materals he had access to build power poles out of, which were iron and concrete. Stobie and his mate, John Brookman were so confident, they set up a company to patent and sell manufacturing rights, and thus, the humble Stobie pole was born.

In 1924, South Terrace in Adelaide started receiving them, and they soon began to appear throughout South Australia, being cheap and easy to build, a standard appearance and long life expectancy, estimated at over 80 years.

Minor side effects of their construction such as being immune to termites, unless they eat steel and concrete, and being very very slightly fire and car proof.

By car proof, I mean a small amount of damage.

Very very small.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what does it do?

“The Stobie split the car in two and it's basically up where the gear stick should be.” - Vlado, on a black Ferrari Mondena that collided with a Stobie pole in 2008. (Link to article in sources)

Right, I'll add a slight correction to that quote above. The Ferrari wasn't split in two. It was merely 'converted' from a front-engined model to a mid-engined model. Mid-engined as in the engine being right next to you in the passenger seat. Thanks to the Stobie, who's favourite food is speeding drivers. Although it didn't get it's meal on that occasion, both people in the car survived.

The Stobie was undamaged. Maybe they had to scrape the paint of the car off it or something, but that's it. Not too shabby for a power pole.

You should be afraid of it if you're a speeding idiot, these things are set into the ground, and will happily attempt to shift the position of your engine, and if you're in the way, then that's too bad. Especially if you drive a rear-engined model sports car.

Sure, if you had a tank or something, then maybe you'd damage one, but anyway.

These poles are quite simply ridiculously strong, especially the older ones, reported to be stronger then all-steel poles, but I don't smash power poles up, so I don't know, and are mainly in use in the state of South Australia, although a town in New South Wales uses them as well, reportedly, so if you're ever lost in Australia and you see one of these, you know where you are.

Although they're not the most beautiful of sights (there are Stobie pole beautification projects though), they're sturdy, an icon of South Australia, damned intimidating when feeding on cars, and have remained in production for over 80 years. Oh, and are used to carry street lights.

Not too bad for something that was built through lack of timber.

Sources:
Stobie Pole: Wikipedia
Stobie Poles: SAMemory
Most amazing Ferrari crash ever: Daily Telegraph
Stobie, James Cyril: Biographical Entry
Own personal knowledge

Concept 2: Design A-150 'Super Yamato'

Concept 2: Design A-150 'Super Yamato'

“If any foreign minister begins to defend to the death a “peace conference”, you can be sure his government has already placed it's orders for new battleships and airplanes” - Joseph Stalin

Nationality: Japanese
Year of Concept: 1938, design near complete in 1941
Number built: 0, 2 planned.
Weight: 70,000 tons, approximately
Length: 263 metres
Beam: 39 metres
Speed: 30 knots (55.5kph)
Complement: Unknown. Yamato had approx 2760 crew.
Armament: 6x 510 mm (45 calibre guns), lots of 100 mm (65 calibre) guns

Background: Ah, battleships. The obsolete, but still remembered, queens of the sea. Having been around in some form since the late 1800s, to provide naval superiority to any fleet, they started to fade out in use after World War 2, after, well, aircraft and missiles started to be developed and improved on.

Now, of course, their role has been taken over by aircraft carriers, but that doesn't mean we can't take a look at what would have been a true wonder produced by Imperial Japan... two years after World War 2 ended. Must take a bit of time to bang those things together.

The battleship came about as the Age of Sail ended, because a metal ship with a flimsy little sail on the top looks ridiculous, and because the ironclad looked cooler. As any Civilization player knows, the step up from wood to iron to steel is an amazing one to undergo, and it was the same in the real world, with many innovations coming into play, from explosive and incendiary shells, to the French navy's Redoutable, which was the first battleship to use steel as it's main material.

Then there was the Dreadnaught era, named after the HMS Dreadnaught, and the two world wars.

But eh, if I wanted to ramble on, I'd fill this article full of battleship pictures and fawn over them like some sort of schoolgirl.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what was it for?

“The more evil the regime, the more ludicrous the planned and designed weapons and equipment.” - Myself. Although I can replace it with an actual quote if needs be.

Now, of course, everyone knows the Battleship Yamato, despite it's lack of actually being used in anger, only firing at American forces during Leyte Gulf in 1944, and at American forces again at Kyushu while en route to Okinawa where she was sunk during Operation Ten-Go while on a suicide mission that involved beaching herself and her escort ships, and blowing anything that moved to hell.

However, she had magnificently large cannons, the largest guns fitted on a warship, of which I'll avoid using that term again, since it makes me feel like I'm talking about a woman with ample assets. She was bristling with lots of shot and shell, along with her sister ship, Musashi, which would have made taking one on in head to head combat interesting to say the least, since she could throw a 1.36 ton shell over 40 kilometres.

The Japanese wished to top this, by countering the American's reply to the Yamatos with the Super Yamato, which was planned to hurl a 2 ton shell with her main armament, and a bunch of smaller shells with her secondary 100mm anti-aircraft guns, with armour so vast that Japan would not have been able to make it in single plates.

Unfortunately, in 1941, the design work went from battleships to alternate ships, like aircraft carriers, cruisers, etc, and the two Super Yamatos were never rolled out, nor were the other two Yamato class ships. The third Yamato-class, Shinano, was converted to an aircraft carrier during construction, and became the dubious honour of being the largest warship ever sunk by a submarine, 10 days after she was commissioned.

Imperial Japan surrendered to the Allied Forces on the battleship USS Missouri, after the atomic bombings, after which, the navy set fire to almost everything Yamato related, which is a shame.

In a sense, the end of the war was an end to the battleship class as well, and the name Yamato faded from memory.

If you exclude the anime, the diesel engine manufacturer, the transport company, the the toy manufacturer, the... let's just say that the name hasn't really faded from use.

There may not be many, or any, battleships serving today, but that doesn't mean that the very idea of a huge ship, crewed by thousands, blasting everything from the air, the water, and the land, isn't a majestic one, unless you're the ones being blasted.

Sources:
Wikipedia: Yamato-class battleship
Wikipedia: Design A-150 battleship
Wikipedia: Dreadnaught
Wikipedia: Battleship
Wikipedia: 40 cm (45 Type 94 naval gun)
Wikipedia: Japanese battleship Yamato
Wikipedia: Japanese battleship Musashi
Wikipedia: Japanese aircraft carrier Shinano
Wikipedia: Operation Ten-Go

Ship 1: The Torpedo Ram class

Ship 1: The Torpedo Ram class.

“Ram him! RAM!” - Jeremy Clarkson

Nationality: Multiple nations had similar plans.
Year of Production: Proposed in early/mid 1870s, USS Intrepid (2) launched 1874, HMS Polyphemus (3) launched 1881.
Number built: Minimal.
Weight: 438 tons (Intrepid), 2640 tons (Polyphemus)
Length: 51 metres (Intrepid), 73 metres (Polyphemus)
Beam (width): 11 metres for both ships.
Draught (depth of water needed): 3.7 m (Intrepid), 6.25 m (Polyphemus)
Complement (crew): >1 (Intrepid), 80 (Polyphemus)
Speed: 11 knots (20kph) (Intrepid), 17.8 knots (33 kph) (Polyphemus)

Background: After the good Mr Robert Whitehead invented the torpedo in 1866, with help from Giovanni Luppis, who came up with the original, albeit different, concept, a few years before, Whitehead's son, John, and a worker called Annibale Ploech, the world's navies, beginning with the Austrian Imperial Navy, were quick to dream up many, many delicious ideas to use this new weapon.

Now, early torpedos, well, sucked if the target was actually moving, only going at a speed of 7 knots, or 13 kph, however, they were rapidly advancing in usefulness, with the gunboat Gemse being modified to fire them outside the factory where they were first being produced.

If the target wasn't moving, they'd be a safe weapon to use, fired from a great distance (600 metres), and with no shell flashes, or curses of shells landing on feet, etc, unless the ship carrying them got hit, in which case, it blew up. Although most ships that are hit in the ammo storage area usually do blow up.

Although the timeframe of this era of ship is not that long, you may, directly, or not, know of this class, as HMS Thunder Child, from War of the Worlds, by HG Wells.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what was it for?

“It was the torpedo ram, Thunder Child, steaming headlong, coming to the rescue of the threatened shipping.” - War of the Worlds, HG Wells.

The torpedo ram class is absolutely goddamn insane. Early models, charge in, with the torpedo still attached to the ship, ram the other ship, which is probably full of very unhealthy stuff being fired at you, like shells, bullets, harsh propaganda and cruel insults, before either making it's way back, or blowing it's bow off.

Ships do not operate well with the front end of the boat missing. Ever.

Thankfully, as models advanced, the strategy became less suicidal, with torpedos being able to actually be fired, with the strategy being revised to 'charge in (through the hotel defenses, using the ram), blow target to smithereens from range, run like hell'.

Despite it being impractical, it had it's merits at the time, until... well, when they were finished being built.

The only torpedo ram used in war was the fictional Thunder Child, which, to be honest, in itself is awesome.

The three Martian tripod fighting machines fire gas at the ship, which does zilch. Then they deploy the heat rays, which mortally wound Thunder Child, but she rips apart one of the machines through ramming.

Thunder Child then turns to the second tripod, and starts firing the guns, but scores no real hits, as she lines up her ram and charges. The heat ray finds her again, and blows her up, with the resulting explosion taking out the second tripod.

After Thunder Child's sacrifice, three ironclads arrive, and, although the third tripod's fate isn't revealed, the fleeing civilians are able to escape.

Unfortunately, in real life, the torpedo ram class of ship was obsolete by the advent of quick firing guns on capital ships, to, say, protect them from some crazed idiot ramming his way through the harbour defenses, and firing his torpedos at a capital ship.

Both Polyphemus and Intrepid would be broken up for scrap, Polyphemus in 1903, and Intrepid in 1892.

A variety of other torpedo rams never got off the ground, which is a shame, in a sense. It's a ship built to ram much heavier stuff, and survive. And the ship, in itself, would provide a vast amount of kinetic energy.

And ultimately, the torpedo ram class remains, somewhere in the imagination of the public, through Thunder Child, taking out what was believed to be an invincible enemy.

Mr Whitehead's invention would remain in play up to, and beyond today, a valuable addition to the submarine, and to the world's navies and air forces in general.

His epitaph reads “His fame was known by all nations hereabouts.”

Sources used -
Wikipedia : Torpedo Ram
Wikipedia: Robert Whitehead
Wikipedia: HMS Polyphemus
Wikipedia: USS Intrepid
Wikipedia: HMS Thunder Child
Navy History - Intrepid
History of USS Intrepid CV-11
Global Security - Torpedo Ram

Concept 1: Tesla's Teleforce

Prototype 1: Tesla's Teleforce

“He has perfected a method and apparatus, Dr Tesla said yesterday in an interview at the Hotel New Yorker, which will send concentrated beams of particles through the free air, of such tremendous energy that they will bring down a fleet of 10,000 enemy airplanes, at a distance of 250 miles from a defending nation's border and will cause armies of millions to drop dead in their tracks.” - New York Times, July 11, 1934.

Nationality: American
Year of concept: Mentioned in 1934 to American media.
Produced: No.

Weapon: Charged particle beams, firing at approx. 48 times speed of sound (16,333.92 metres per second).
Range: 321 to 402 km (200 to 250 miles)
Engine: Fixed position, unable to move.
Power: Requires own dedicated power plant, estimated to be large.

Background: Dr Tesla, or, Nikola Tesla, was born in 1856, in modern day Croatia, he emigrated to America a fair few years later, and had some dealings, and competition with a little known man called Thomas Edison and invented a wide variety of things, 700 or so, like alternating current, which is what most countries of the world use today.

Now, there currently wasn't any world wars going on at the moment, not even the Spanish Civil War, which was 2 years away, but one suspects that some countries were rearming, which is why this little beauty was proposed, on his 78th birthday, to the American media.

Now to actually explain a bit more about the Teleforce, which is most definitely not a death ray. At all. The good Dr Tesla said so, to quote: “I want to state explicitly that this invention of mine does not contemplate the use of any so-called "death rays." Rays being absolutely useless apart from cooking bacon using all the power in New York City.

He tried to sell England on it, and the US, and Russia was interested (to defend their border against the Japanese), but countries either refused or it never got built, which is kinda obvious, given the lack of huge giant death particle cannons currently standing guard on the coast lines, or the power shortages when it fires, if the country doesn't build the power plant for it.

It required 60,000,000 volts to fire, also. That's a fair few lightbulbs.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what was it for?

“An exception, however, he added, must be made in the case of battleships, which, he said, would be able to equip themselves with smaller plants for generating the death-beam, with enough power to destroy any airplane approaching for attack from the air.” - New York Times, July 11, 1934, again.

You... need me to explain that? Really? Alrighty.

This is a four hundred kilometre ranged death particle beam gun. Dear lord, that's... scary. For an estimate of it's range, we'll say that one is set up in London, it could hit Paris, 340 kilometres away. And it could rip apart an army that was approximately 62 kilometres further from Paris. This is the Paris Gun.

That is a nasty weapon. Darth Vader should have used the sucker on his Deathstar.

Tesla believed it would be a peace gun, since every country having it's own 400 km ranged superweapon would be kinda scary. Go and get a map, and check. There's probably some large city within any area you pick, unless it's Australia. Now, go imagine a gun that makes the speed of sound it's slave (stronger word can be substituted),, reaching 400 kilometres away in about... 25 seconds.

Oh, and it could have been constructed in a few months by his estimates.

At the moment, the US navy is experimenting with lasers. Which, presumably, could be fitted on a ship, and fired at aircraft. Only decades, generations, since Tesla's proposal, and may not be able to quite match the specifications of Teleforce, which penetrated 2 metres of armour with a third of the full charge.

Now, 6 metres (19 feet) of anything is a lot to get through.
Go imagine swift, invisible death coming towards you and a million others in under half a minute, if someone accidentally hit the fire button.

On the plus side, after you die, you'd get great television, since it could be used to broadcast TV signals. So that's reassuring.

Nikola Tesla died in a hotel room at the age of 86. an eccentric genius, or a mad scientist.

No picture of it, sorry.

Sources used:
"Beam to Kill Army at 200 Miles, Tesla's Claim On 78th Birthday:" New York Herald Tribune
Nikola Tesla: Wikipedia
Teleforce: Wikipedia
Own personal knowledge, which was even less of a help this time.