Aircraft 4: Junkers Ju 87 'Stuka' Sturzkampfflugzeug

Aircraft 4: Junkers Ju 87 'Stuka' Sturzkampfflugzeug


“The Germans are coming in an absolutely steep dive, and you can see their bombs actually leave the machines and come into the water. You can hear our guns going like anything now. I can hear machine-gun fire but I can't see our Spitfires. They must be somewhere there.” - BBC radio reporter Charles Gardner.

Nationality: German (Third Reich)
Year of Production: 1933-1944.
Number built: 6500, estimated.
Weight (empty): 3.93 tons
Wingspan: 13.8 metres
Length: 11.5 metres
Height: 3.9 metres
Crew: 2
Speed: 410 kph, could handle diving speeds of 600 kph, reports of 835 kph attained.
Engine: Junkers Jumo 210A, 602 hp, replaced by other variants of Jumo engine, maxing at 1401 hp.
Armament: 4x 7.92 mm MG 17 machine guns, 1x 7.92 MG 15 machine gun, 250 to 500 kg bomb, 'Jericho trumpets', later variants had dual-barrel 7.92 mm MG 81Z machine gun replacing MG 15, 500-1200 kg bomb load, planned torpedo from 750-905 kg, and 2x 20 mm MG 151/20 cannon, with tank killer variant using 2x 37 mm Flak guns.

Background: I daresay most of you will recognise this aircraft from it's nickname. The dive bomber that helped the Germany army's blitzkerig across Europe, with the sirens of the devil or the banshee.

First used in the Spanish Civil War as part of the Condor Legion, the role of a dive bomber is simple. From height, it dives on you at a very fast speed, releases it's bomb, and pulls away. The screaming part was optional.

Also, did I mention the noise it made? I'll touch on that first, and include one video of it in the sources. From the video, it's this droning noise, which increases by a lot, and then the screaming of whatever the hell it is that's screaming, then there's the explosion, and one assumes the plane pulling away. Now, that's just one plane, I think that and a few others would be as scary as all goddamn hell.

The noise is by a thing called a Jericho trumpet, which are propeller driven sirens, which, although slowing the aircraft down by 20 to 25 kph, did the screaming noise that the aircraft was known for. After the trumpet was withdrawn, some bombs were fitted with whistles on the fin to try to emulate the noise.

And from that was born the vuvuzela.

Alright, not really. The aircraft itself was designed before 1928, with the view that the dive-bomber design had to be simple and robust, which lead to many features like the retractable undercarriage being removed.

After the events that lead to the rise of the Third Reich, the RLM, the German Aviation Ministry, of which I refuse to use the overly long name, gave it the go ahead, and in 1932, the double vertical stabilizers were introduced to assist the rear gunner.

Originally, the Ju 87 was fitted with a BMW engine, producing 600 hp, as well as dive brakes, which slow an aircraft when it's in a dive. When trials were done in 1934, Ernst Udet began diving at 1000 metres, and released his 1 kg bombs at 100 metres, barely escaping turning the aircraft into an additional 4 ton bomb. Despite the concerns held that such an aircraft might be too risky to be used by the average pilot in the Luftwaffe, Udet advocated that all medium bombers have dive-bombing capabilities.

Initially, the Ju 87 were powered by Rolls-Royce engines, and on a test flight, a failure in the twin fins and rudder ended up killing the chief test pilot and his engineer, after which, modifications were made to avoid that. Despite that, the RLM were not really interested, until Junkers offered to fit it with a Jumo 210 engine, and in early 1936, the testing continued. With joyous news from the RLM, who were so impressed that... they cancelled the development... Udet overrode the order, and development continued.

The Ju 87, in 1937, could take off in only 250 metres, and climb to 1.875 km in 8 minutes with a 250 kg bomb load, with a cruising speed of 250 kph. Despite that, there were pushes for a stronger engine, wanting the speed to be over 350 kph. The Jumo 210 Da engine was fitted, which boosted the speed to 290 kph.

Among other features, there was an automatic dive recovery system, and the bomb swung clear of the propeller before being released, with the aircraft generating 6 gs while pulling out. Development continued to reduce the g forces put on the crew, to prevent them blacking out.

Of course, this is mostly meaningless to some of the readers. So, let's move on.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what was it for?

“At lunch time we were in the thick of it again and Junkers dive-bombers appeared all over the sky. We engaged one by shrapnel control, but out fuse was too short. Then one came, sensationally straight at us, dived to a few feet off the ground and went clean through our position with machine guns blazing.” - Kenneth Rankin, on a Junkers 87 attack in Tobruk.

As explained above, the role is simple, to dive and bomb you, while killing morale.

Unfortunately, while preparing for the invasion of Poland, during a dive bombing demonstration for high ranking officials, 13 aircraft smashed into the ground, unaware that the cloud cover was lower then expected.

Despite that, the invasion went ahead, with the Stuka claiming the first air to air kill of the war, shooting down a Polish PZL p.11c fighter while it was taking off. In addition, a destroyer and a minelayer were also destroyed, not to mention the other events. Enemy aircraft were light, the Stukas losing only 31 aircraft

During the invasion of Norway, they were used to take out ground and naval targets, including the Oscarsborg Fortress, the French destroyer Bison, and the HMS Bittern and Afridi.

In France, the small headquarters in a village was destroyed in only four direct hits, allowing the German army to continue. Unfortunately, where enemy aircraft were organised, the Stuka suffered, at one point losing 11 out of 12 aircraft to 6 French fighters.

During the events of Dunkirk, the French destroyer Adroit, a paddle steamer, Crested Eagle, and many other ships were destroyed, the Royal Navy having only one destroyer out of 40 still operational. In the Battle of Britain, despite early success, the aircraft couldn't function properly without air superiority, the very thing being fought over..

It's interesting reading, but for the most part, if there's no other aircraft, or friendly aircraft around, the Stuka would get the job done. If there were hostile aircraft around, the Stuka would be mincemeat.

Also, be careful with the Youtube link, that sound is fairly frightening.

Sources used:
Junkers Ju 87 – Wikipedia
14th July 1940 – WW2Today
11th April 1941 – WW2Today
HowStuffWorks – Junkers Ju 87 Stuka
Junkers Jumo 210 – Wikipedia
BK 37 – Wikipedia
BBC Archive – News Report: Air Battle off Dover (audio)
Stuka Ju 87 siren – Youtube

The image is from the German Federal Archive. This image has not been altered, except for being resized.

Ship 3: The Battleship Bismark

Ship 3: The Battleship Bismark



“I'm not letting my ship get shot out from under my arse. Open fire!” - Captain Ernst Lindemann, in response to the requests from First Gunnery Officer Adalbert Schneider.

Nationality: German (Third Reich)
Year of Production: 1936. (Launched 1939.)
Number built: 2.
Weight: 41,700 tons. (42,900 tons for sister ship Tirpitz)
Length: 251 metres
Beam: 36 metres
Draught: 9.3 metres
Complement: 2065 to 2608.
Speed: 30 knots (55 kph). (29 knots, 54 kph, for sister ship).
Armament: 8x 38 cm naval guns, 12x 15 cm naval guns, 16x 10.5 cm flak cannons, 16x 3.7 cm flak cannons, 12x 2 cm flak cannons (to 20 for Bismark, 78 for Tirpitz), 4x Arado Ar 196 aircraft. (2x torpedo tubes for Tirpitz)

Background: In the mid 1930s, the main threat to Germany was interestingly enough, France, with their Richelieu-class battleships, and their announcement to arm them with their own 38 cm naval guns. In response, Germany also armed the two battleships, then under construction, with their own large guns. The other concern was for the battleships to have sufficient range to reach the Atlantic without the crew having to get out the oars and paddle, since that would be fairly humiliating.

The Bismark-class was limited by the infrastructure and the Kaiser Wilheim Canal that they would have to pass through, being unable to be built much heavier than 43,000 tons, or risk getting stuck.

Despite that, the battleships were completed, with over 150,000 horsepower to thrust them along, with the guns firing 800 kg shells over 36 kilometres, three rounds per minute for each of their 8 main guns. The smaller naval guns fired shells a fairly nice 23 km, at a rate of six rounds per minute.

Anti-aircraft consisted of a variety of guns, with some being added over the original, such as the extra 8 for the Bismark, and an extra 66 for the Tirpitz, since the Allies were bent on bombing the heck out of it.

I could go on, and I'm tempted to, but that would lead to a vast amount of political intrigue, so I'll just settle for some links at the bottom.

Instead, we'll go into the combat, a most interesting tale.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what was it for?

“The objective of the Bismarck is not to defeat enemies of equal strength, but to tie them down in a delaying action, while preserving her combat capacity as much as possible.” - Grand Admiral Erich Raeder's orders regarding the Bismark.

After the Bismark had been commissioned and joined the fleet, a small sortie was planned for the North Atlantic, planning to consist of Bismark, Tirpitz, and the members of the Scharnhorst/ Gneisenau-class, unfortunately, the Tirpitz was not ready, and Scharnhorst was being overhauled, so instead, Bismark was sent out with the cruiser Prinz Eugen, the Gneisenau having been damaged by Allied bombing.

As they were heading through the Denmark Strait, they encountered the battleship HMS Prince of Wales and the battlecruiser HMS Hood, leading to the Battle of the Denmark Strait.

10 minutes into the battle, a shot from Bismark struck Hood near one of her ammunition magazines, causing her to blow up three minutes later. Prince of Wales continued to exchange fire, but suffered from malfunctions in the main armament and broke off. Bismark and Prinz Eugen continued onto the Atlantic, the three hits on the Bismark destroying the catapult, flooded a generator room, damaged a bulkhead and cut access to the forward fuel tanks.

The damage reduced speed to 28 knots, as well as leaving a trail of oil which helped the Allies shadow the two ships. Prinz Eugen broke off to the Atlantic while Bismark set out to return to France to repair. Bismark was attacked by a group of Swordfish torpedo bombers on the 24th of May, with minimal damage, before losing the British, who were highly annoyed over the sinking of the Hood.

Not realising they had lost the British, a 30 minute radio call was made to Germany, allowing the British to pick up on the signal and continue the pursuit.

More Swordfish from HMS Ark Royale attacked the cruiser HMS Sheffield by mistake, but no major damage was done, and the faulty torpedos were replaced. The next time they attacked, Bismark's rudder was damaged, and ignored all attempts to repair it. After, they were attacked by torpedos from British and Polish destroyers, causing no further damage.

After the Bismark ran into the King George V and the Rodney, the game was up, and the Bismark was sunk.

The Tirpitz was went to Norway, where the British invested a fair amount of time in destroying it, with no less then 10 operations from midget subs to chariot boats to bombing, before it was finally sunk.

I'm not sure about you, but if I had a ship that took that long to sink, and caused that much headache for my foe's air and naval forces, well, who knows.

Sources used:
German battleship Bismark
German battleship Tirpitz
Operation Rheinburg
Bismark-class battleship
Battle of the Denmark Strait
Last battle of the Bismark
Anglo-German Naval Agreement
Plan Z

Vehicle 4 – Schwerer Gustav and Dora

Vehicle 4: Schwerer Gustav and Dora

No quote, sorry.

Nationality: Germany (Third Reich)
Year of Production: 1941
Number built: 2-3
Weight: 1,350 tons.
Length: 47.3 metres, 84 metres potentially.
Width: 7.1 metres
Height: 11.6 metres
Crew: 250 to assemble gun, 2500 to lay track and digemplacements.
Engine: None.
Armament: 1x 800mm cannon, firing 7.1 ton to 11 ton shell.

Background: After World War One, France had started work on the Maginot Line, a massive line of fortifications along the French/German border that would prevent any attacks launched by Germany, or at least significantly slow them down.

In response to this, the German High Command commissioned a company called Krupp, a large German munitions, well, company, to design a gun powerful enough to crack the Maginot Line. More specifically, seven metres of reinforced concrete, or a full metre of steel plate. Oh, and the gun had to fire at beyond the range of French artillery, to prevent it being blown to bits.

That was in 1934. In 1936, the leader of Germany asked about the viability of such a gun, and no commitment was given by him, however, design work began on the 800mm version.

Unfortunately, in 1937, it was discovered that they couldn't quite get the gun done by Spring 1940, however, the test gun was completed in 1939, and sent to the firing range for testing with the 7.1 ton shell ripping through the desired amount of concrete and steel. As testing finished in 1940, the Gustav Gun was formerly accepted by the German leader, who was so awe struck by the weapon that he ordered that the 11 ton shell only be fired under his command. As such, the 11 ton shell was never fired.

Ammunition for the two guns, Schwerer Gustav (Heavy Gustav), and Dora (named after the senior engineer's wife) consisted of a concrete (and logically, armour)-piercing shell, and a high explosive shell. A rocket launcher variant was planned, with a 150 km range, which would have required the barrel to be lengthened to 84 metres, thereby compensating for every man on the continent, but was never used or completed.

Gustav went into modern day Ukraine, on a train of 25 cars, and had to be held while additional track was laid so it could traverse. After that, it only took a further month to get the railway gun ready to fire, at a port city called Sevastopol.

By the 4th of July, Gustav had roared out 48 rounds, and had ruined the original barrel, but among other targets, it had destroyed a storage facility called White Cliff, located 30 metres under the sea, protected by 10 metres of concrete. It only took nine shells to ruin the ammunition dump.

After that, Gustav was sent to Leningrad, or St Petersburg, where it did nothing, spending the winters of 1942 and 1943 there. After that period of excitement, it was sent back to Germany to be refurbished, and then destroyed before May 1945.

Dora did even less, being sent to Stalingrad, before being withdrawn.

A variant, an alternate rocket artillery model, Langer Gustav, was damaged during construction and abandoned, while the P1500 project is something I'll touch on in another article.

Why should I be afraid of it? And what was it for?

No quote, sorry.

The two guns were designed, and developed, for one simple reason. To rip the hell out of France's Maginot Line. 7 metres of concrete is not a small amount, and these guns cracked that amount with one hit, from a range of 38 to 48 kilometres, depending on ammunition.

They're huge, unwieldy, and need track specially built to carry them, being unable to rotate by themselves. They also came with 2 Flak batteries as escort, as protection from aircraft, and potentially vehicles as well.

As of 2011, they are the largest guns in the world to have been used in combat, and are only beaten by Mallet's mortar and Little David in terms of calibre.

They could rip apart a fortress, and to even think, my limited knowledge, of what would happen to a tank, is horrifying. And this is a weapon so powerful that the largest shell, the 11 ton version, was never used. Thankfully.

Sources:
Schwerer Gustav – Wikipedia
List of the largest cannon by calibre - Wikipedia

Structure 2: Vergeltungswaffe 3 (V-3 Cannon)

Structure 2: Vergeltungswaffe 3 (V-3 Cannon)

“Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.” - Frederik the Great

Nationality: German (Third Reich)
Years of Production: 1943 to 1944.
Number built: 6 (50 projected.)
Weapon: Multi-charge artillery.
Range: 93 km attained, projected 165 km.
Engine: Fixed position, unable to move.
Length: 130 metres, however, 45 metre length ones also built.
Weight: Unknown.

Background: So, after that short bit of fictional objects, now back to some more 'normal' things, like a really freaking goddamned big gun.

However, until I get to the really freaking goddamned big gun article, you'll have to put up with this little thing, sorry.

Anyway, England was being a bit of a pest to the Third Reich's plans of European (world?) domination, given the whole refusing to be bombed into submission part, and as such, proving that insanity is the art of repeating something to see if the outcome will be any different, an engineer called August Conders (umlauts over o) proposed an 'electrically initiated multi-charge weapon'. He caught the attention of the upper ranks, including Albert Speer, Minister of Munitions.

As a result of the attention, August was ordered to produce a prototype of the secretly named Hochdruckpumpe, or high-pressure-pump, and produced a 20 mm calibre gun. As such, August was ordered by the big cheese of the Third Reich himself to build 50 full-sized guns to bombard London. And if you believe that the guns were supposed to fire 300 shells an hour, 15,000 shells an hour would really suck.

For how much it would suck, that's over 21 million kilos of ammo falling on a city. Every hour, assuming the Allies didn't bomb the ever-loving crap out of them.

Given that London wasn't turned into a crater, they assumed wrong, but even before they started trying to build the guns in Mimoyceques, France, they had problems with the muzzle velocity being not quite what was promised, being only one kilometre per second.

Six companies produced designs that were judged to be satisfactory for the 150 mm finned projectile, of which were trimmed down to four designs, and with that, and the other minor issues like how to get the other charges in the barrel to fire as the shell was running up the thing, sorted, they began to play with the gun they'd constructed in Misdroy, on the island of Wolin, belonging to modern day Poland.

Trials held in late May, 1944 provided ranges of 88 kilometres, in early July, the gun reached 93 kilometres, and then the gun burst.

What was it for? And why should I be afraid of it?

“Only just in time did the Allied armies blast the viper in his nest. Otherwise the autumn of 1944, to say nothing of 1945, might well have seen London as shattered as Berlin.” - Winston Churchill speech, “Forward, 'Till The Whole Task Is Done.”

Now, if you read into this, this is really quite interesting stuff. August didn't come up with the idea of a multi-charge artillery piece, that was by three different people.

Azel Lyman was granted a patent in 1857, for improvement in accelerating fire arms, and later, in 1878, a patent for improvement in accelerating guns.

James Haskell was also working on the same idea, and the two teamed up, to show the US army what a gun like that could do. Unfortunately, the charges fired in front of the shell, slowing it down, and given that normal artillery could beat the result, the idea was abandoned.

Around the same time, a French engineer by the name of Louis-Guillaume Perraux had been working on the same idea, which was shown at the World Exhibition of Paris in 1878.

During World War One, the French had plans to build their own multi-charge gun to take out the Paris Gun, which was a large German gun that could shell Paris, but the plans were shelved when the Germans were forced back.

Then, during World War Two, Germany invaded France, and rediscovered the plans, which leads us back to the good August.

Now, kinetic weaponry is a lot harder to take out then a missile. If you want proof, and have a friend with a couple of guns, try to hit the bullet fired from his gun with your own bullet, while it's in the air. Now, go try it and get a decent accuracy, say over 60%.

I could not really begin to describe what a prolonged bombardment from 50 guns could do to a city, but it would be devastating, to say the least.

However, the Allies were tipped off about the construction, and started bombing to disrupt it, believing that it was where the V-2 Rockets were being launched from. Regardless, the work continued on, and in early July, 1944, the first five barrels were ready to be prepared to be installed.

Then the Allies invaded, and the power grid was cut, and the site was captured in early September by American forces.

At the moment, the site is used as a museum by the La Forteresse de Mimoyecques, an organisation dedicated to showing the history of the V-weapons, the site itself, and the bomber crews, and the labourers that lost their lives.

Sources:
V-3 Cannon – Wikipedia
Vergeltungswaffe – Wikipedia
Fortress of Mimoyecques – Wikipedia
La Forteresse de Mimoyecques Official Site
V-3 – Astronautix.com

Fictional 3: Battlestation (Battalion Wars)

Fictional 3 : Battlestation (Battalion Wars)

“Qa-Len's pathetic assault was no match for the immortal fury of my Iron Legion! Now I shall deal my cruellest blow! Stoke the furnaces, fire up the engines, arm all batteries! Release the BATTLESTATION!” - Lord Ferrok, on the first Battlestation to be used in battle, during Incursion.

From: Battalion Wars (Nintendo Gamecube, 2005)
Number built: 25+. In use by 4 armies.
Weight: Unknown.
Length: Unknown.
Width: Unknown.
Height: Unknown.
Crew: 6
Engine: Varies between diesel and steam-electric, depending on army.
Armament: 2x artillery (88 mm) or naval guns (12 inch), 2x or 4x anti-vehicle turrets, 3x .50 cal machine guns.

Background: Right, at some point whenever I do the next fictional one, I'll see if I can actually find some specs on it, instead of this vague 'Unknown' stuff.

So, the Lightning Wars, 200 years before the events of Battalion Wars 2, where the Iron Legion, having conquered the rest of the world, marched on the Solar Empire, and their empress, Qa-Len.

Slowly, the Iron Legion was beaten back to Old Xylvania, and trapped there by anti-air frigates, as the Solar Empire began to try to gain a foothold.

Lord Ferrok, the Iron Legion's leader, responded by designing, and penning the name of Battlestation, himself, which was promptly deployed after his forces fought off 7 attack waves of Solar Empire troops. When it's unleashed, things go badly for the Sols, as they get quickly crushed, losing a number of gunships and heavy tanks in the process.

The Solars, fearing losing the war, respond by deploying a superweapon, a big damn killer satellite, which creates a freaking big crater which resembles an asteroid impact, and the Iron Legion loses by virtue of being annihilated, dinosaur-style.

The Battlestation turns up in a variety of battles, mainly used by the Xylvanians throughout the two Battalion Wars games, and each time if you don't have your own heavy firepower, you get to play the fun game of hit and run away like a little girl before it blows you back to your country.

Even if it is under the control of the AI, which can be kinda useless.

In other words, think of it this way. The original design is 200 years old. It has remained unchanged since then, or with only minor modifications.

What does it do? And why should I be afraid of it?

“Unleash the Tundran Battlestation!” - Marshal Nova, on the Mammothka Battlestation, being deployed in the snowy wastes of Tundra as part of Day of Reckoning.

It's a super-tank. It's big, it rattles, it shrieks, it clunks, and it probably drinks enough fuel to drain about 4 large oil fields, or get rid of 6 forests, and that's not mentioning the amount of smoke it generates when moving. It does not give a damn about ecology, or about solar panels, mostly because it's a tank. Tanks aren't known for political viewpoints.

Hearing it engage the enemy is beautiful, from the mechanical coughing of the main cannon, to the noises from the other two turrets, to the crackle of machine gun fire, as it sets about blowing up light tanks, annihilating infantry and any poor aircraft that is in range and hasn't taken off yet.

Of course it has counters, like an air strike, from helicopters or bombers. Or a naval bombardment, maybe. Or your own Battlestation.

If you don't have that, maybe you could lure it off a cliff or crack away at it with your lighter units (which is everything else on the ground.), or harsh propaganda.

It was impressive in the first game, even though the aiming system was average, but the Western Frontier smashed through Xylvanian defenses with it, first on the Coral Atolls, and second, while marching towards Xylvania itself.

The Iron Legion would have reconquered the world with theirs, if it wasn't for the superweapon being deployed.

Tundra used theirs to put an end to the events of the second game, in impressive fashion, taking out the heavily defended Mining Spider which would have given Kaiser Vlad, the leader of Xylvania, the Solar Empire's superweapon, which had been sealed away.

None of this may make much sense to those that haven't played it. But think of it this way. Heavily-armoured tank that cannot effectively be engaged in a ground war, that spews smoke, shells and death, and is nearly immune to your bazookas.

Sources:
Battalion Wars
Battalion Wars 2
Battlestation – Battalion Wars Wiki
Battlestation – Wars Wiki

Fictional 2: The Battleship Halberd (Kirby)

Fictional 2: The Battleship Halberd (Kirby)

“Fight me.” - Meta Knight.

From: Kirby Super Star (Super Nintendo Entertainment System, 1996)
Number built: 1
Weight: Unknown
Length: Unknown
Width: Unknown
Height: Unknown
Crew: 9.
Engine: Reactor, powering 3 small, and 1 large, vents at the rear of the ship.
Armament: 1x Combo Cannon (claw, laser and cannon), bomb bay, 8x double-barrelled laser turrets, 2x wing-mounted laser cannons, 1x main cannon, 10x side mounted laser turrets, 6x (12?) various other mounted laser cannons, ranging between double to triple barrelled, unknown amount of missile launchers. (SSBB), 16x single shot cannon, 1x double shot cannon, 4x triple shot cannon, 1x laser cannon, 8x flamethrower, (Kirby's Epic Yarn), let's just call it pretty well armed, without mentioning the other games or anime that it's in.

Background: Before I begin, I must confess that isn't a full and accurate description of the weaponry it has, I'm fairly sure it has a few others that I haven't been able to 100% confirm. But yes, that does make it over 30 various cannons and claws and other things on the thing. If wanted, I can try to recheck the weapons shown, but... dear god, it would only make the number, and length of the armament section even higher and longer.

Alright, so, this is the Battleship Halberd, personal ship of Meta Knight, the enigmatic knight of the Kirby series, who often acts as a friend and a foe to the pink blob, and who obviously believes that anything less then 20 guns on something is underarmed.

Anyway, Meta Knight's really into the code of honour thing, and whenever he and Kirby end up fighting, he always throws a sword out, so that Kirby can fight against Meta Knight's legendary sword, Galaxia, which is a pretty neat looking sword that shocks anybody unworthy of wielding it, while firing sword beams and other things that real swords can't do.

So, the Halberd was created by Meta Knight to take over Dream World, to put an end to the inhabitants being lazy (Although, to be honest, he could do that just by firing at the ground, they'd run soon enough, I know I would.), and Kirby sets about destroying it, since he's got no respect for giant flying death machines.

He gets to the reactor, since video games don't recognise such cunning tactics like locking the door, throwing the key into the ocean, and mocking loudly, and blows it up, causing the Halberd to crash into the Secret Sea.

Afterwards, the Halberd is raised from the sea floor, and heads to the Gamble Galaxy under Kirby's control, because Meta Knight challenged Kirby and lost.

And it makes an appearance in Kirby's Epic Yarn, as an optional last level, as a side scrolling shooter.

What does it do? And why should I be afraid of it?

“The bow looks like his mask. What kind of weirdo puts his face on the bow of a ship, anyway?” - Snake Solid, on the Halberd.

As mentioned above, it is a flagship. Now, flagships, by themselves, are usually impressive (Yes, even the Icelandic flagship), and this is no exception.

The numbers for the armament mentioned above are fairly accurate, and if not, it's because I've missed some. Missed some as in, they could be even higher then what's listed.

In Super Smash Brothers Brawl, it's shown under the command of the Subspace Army, after Meta Knight failed to prevent them overrunning his ship (Thanks, King Dedede.), and was thrown off. It does a variety of thing, like creating Primids from the shadow bugs dropped from the bomb bay doors, to shooting down Arwings, to shooting down the Great Fox, with excessive amounts of inaccurate, but heavy firepower.

It gets shot down by the Subspace Gunship, which I mentioned in a previous article, but allows the heroes to invade Subspace, and generally raise a bit of hell.

In Kirby's Epic Yarn, Kirby battles through the Halberd, destroying the weaponry on it, and eventually the reactor, in an optional final stage.

It appears in Kirby : Right Back At Ya!, where it's able to rip through a UFO thing called a Destrayer, and shrug off hits from them in return, although it eventually gets destroyed.

Ultimately, whatever shape it's in, (The layout and design keeps changing between games), or whatever material it's made from (Including wool!), it is covered in guns, and will easily enjoy ripping through whatever is in range, with a absolutely tiny crew.

Be afraid. Unless you're a pink blob.

Sources:
Halberd: The Kirby Wiki
Meta Knight: The Kirby Wiki
Revenge of Meta Knight: The Kirby Wiki
Super Smash Bros Brawl

Fictional 1: The Subspace Gunship (SSBB)

Fictional 1: The Subspace Gunship (SSBB)

“Once the mass production of Subspace gunships yielded a certain number of units, it would then be possible to launch all of them through the hole at once. Once the gunships were in our world, there would be no way to stop them from dragging all the remaining pieces of our world into theirs.” - The Self-Destruction of the Isle of Ancients, Smash Bros DOJO!!

From: Super Smash Brothers Brawl (Nintendo Wii, 2008)
Number built: 1, maybe more.
Weight: Unknown.
Length: Unknown
Width: Unknown
Height: Unknown
Crew: 2, or above.
Engine: Unknown.
Armament: 1x Subspace Cannon, 5x Triple-barrelled Laser Turrets (Orange), 10x Side-mounted lasers (Green)

Background: First of all, don't take unknown to mean it's small or anything, this thing is absolutely goddamn massive. I mean, it has to be at least bigger then most islands in our world. And I'm not kidding.

Right, so Tabuu is working on turning the World of Trophies into Subspace by means of Subspace Bombs, which are powered by two R.O.B.s (which I may touch on in a later article). As for why, according to Smash Bros DOJO!!, he is the embodiment of Subspace, and as such, cannot leave it to enter the World of Trophies.

To do so, he uses the Ancient Minister's forces (The R.O.B.s) to create the Subspace Bombs from the Isle of Ancients, which, when they explode, draw large areas of the World of Trophies into Subspace, where they have to be connected to other regions of Subspace.

Even though a great many areas are destroyed in this way, the heroes slowly progress towards the Isle of Ancients, which is fairly bad for the villains, and as such, the Subspace Bombs that were being made on it were detonated to bring forth the Subspace Army's ultimate weapon.

A effing massive goddamn ship.

What does it do? And why should I be afraid of it?
“Ganondorf made the Subspace Bomb factory self-destruct in order to draw this ultimate weapon out from Subspace. It's capable of infinitely rending space, and it's firepower is greater than that of any weapon. It exists to draw all of this world into Subspace, but the last-ditch efforts by the fighters might prevent this.” - Trophy description of Subspace Gunship, Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Right, you saw that huge cannon sticking out the front, right? That emulates a Subspace Bomb, but at range.

Now, that is very bad in terms of world not being destroyed/drawn into Subspace.

The Gunship only appears in one cutscene, 'The Great Invasion', so we don't know the construction facility, or the date, or who it's first kiss was with.

All that's known is that it has a crew of at least 2, and that it is absolutely gorgeous for a superweapon.

So, Ganondorf gives the order by pointing, and the Gunship charges up and fires, ripping apart some air and sea since Ganondorf is too manly to consider using a normal fishing rod to get his fish.

The reclaimed Battleship Halberd comes rocketing in from another direction after to have a go at screwing up their plans, and that's when the five laser turrets appear, and raise hell, ripping apart the Halberd with two glancing blows, and one shot that rips right through it, nose to tail or bow to stern, depending on what you call a flying ship.

It seems bad, but then the main theme starts playing as the five heroes on board bail out safely in their various craft, Samus and her Gunship, Olimar and the Hocotate Ship, Falco's Arwing, and Captain Falcon's Falcon Flyer, and start ripping towards the Subspace Gunship.

Cue Nintendo's attempt at a bullet hell shooter as the ten other laser cannons start firing, with all of the shots missing, because it would be pretty horrible to see one of the heroes be ripped apart by a giant laser beam. After a few seconds of the four ships racing towards the Gunship, there is a twinkle in the sky as Kirby (Yes, the pink blob that goes HAAAAAIIII and sucks more than an Electrolux.) appears on the Dragoon, and rips straight through the ultimate weapon of the Subspace Army, causing the Subspace Gunshp to blow up for the last 30 seconds of the cutscene, while the Dragoon gets off scot-free.

Ganondorf and Bowser get to head back through the void, presumably to have a sulk at about why they lost the a pretty damn sexy weapon.

Ultimately, the ultimate weapon kinda failed, but think back to the top quote.

These things were to be mass produced, and sent through en-masse. Now, assuming that it's above, say, 4, that would be pretty frightening to go up against. Instead, they sent one through, and took out a battleship that is, being ridiculously generous, a twentieth of it's size, and some ocean.

It's enough to make you want to cry.

Sources:
Smash Bros DOJO!!: Mysteries of The Subspace Emissary
Subspace Gunship: Mario Wiki
Subspace Gunship: SmashWikia
Subspace Bomb: SmashWikia
Subspace: SmashWikia
Isle of (the) Ancients: SmashWikia
Subspace Emissary: The Great Invasion: Youtube
Super Smash Brothers Brawl